This is a good Op Ed piece and reminder to treat all your fellow players with respect.

I have to say in my 5 years of playing FFXI ive never treated a female player like that, and maybe its because i like to maintain some faith in humanity, but i can't imagine that being a commonplace occurance.

I believe it is blown out of proportion there... On FFXI, anyway, this is an extremely rare occurrence from my experience. Not saying her experience didn't happen but I know of no one in the 4+ years I've been in FFXI that has treated a female player like that. (What server was she on, anyway? >_>)

Oddly enough, Leuqarte, it's not really as rare of an occurance as you'd expect. I play with my RL girlfriend and have seen people, 75's, send her tells like "I wanna **** your face". Or been called a slut by the very guys who offered to give her free stuff and she has declined it all. Or I have noticed the same people following us around that we both know stalk her.

Stalk on a MMO. Think how lol people have to be to do this. I guess it's why I don't get as mad as I should, or she brushes it off. We have each other to know these people, the ones who do not treat a chick playing a game, lead much sadder lives than us. To tell a woman on a game about how he wants to masturbate to her character is just pathetic, once you get past how sick it is.

Summed up, it is not as rare as you would think, although not everyone gets super upset about it. It does not take long to see that we are better people than them. We lead richer, more fulfulling lives. We go outside, have girlfriends, have fun on a game. After all, this is just a game. And as such, it should have no gender. Just have fun, y'know?

...although one day I want to see a FFXI without this garbage.

I blame the media for things such as that happening. i.e. ever since the whole Britney Spears thing. Anyone thinks they can become an annoying paparazzi.

Sorry, guys, but it does happen, and on a fairly regular basis. Emote humping, requests to strip, requests for RL contact info, and my favorite: Being talked down to like I'm a retarded four-year-old. For the record: Being told, at 75, "This is a pot. It magic aggros. Be careful about casting!" and being reminded not to cast every 10 minutes for two hours? In SKY? Not sexy. And this was on Ventrilo, so I could hear the "I think you're stupid" in his voice. Although, I will admit that such nonsense did stop for the most part when I hit high level and started getting some hard-to-get rare/ex gear. Of course, that begs the question: did I earn respect because I'm very accomplished, or is it just that these jerks assume that I must be a guy because "girls can't play games"? Or I suppose the third option is that I've actually managed to blacklist every sexist pervert on the server, but that seems unlikely. For those who are really shocked by the idea that this is going on, thank you. You are not the problem. But if you want to see it for yourselves, I'd suggest you make a female hume or elvaan character (everyone knows 75% of mithra are manthra and nobody harasses female tarutaru because they look so much like children) with a feminine sounding name. Level it to 30, and see what happens.

I agree with the blogger about the term rape getting under my skin. I *despise* when people throw this term around lightly. Though, thankfully, neither my friends, family or myself have gone through the experience, I feel that it is something that is so serious for the people that actually do and is not to be joked around about in a video game - a place for people to escape the troubles of the real life world. Our characters are incapable of raping anything, and as such it should never be mentioned in an MMO outside of the context of a serious conversation between friends.

I think she needs to get a life. There are more important things than "virtual respect". She is just using her gender as a crux to bitch and whine about men. I think that in itself is sexist.

I disagree with you, Fo newear. On my first character on Alexander I was a Hume female, and even though I actually knew my endgame job as well as everyone else should I wasn't treated the same way Male characters were. I saw a constant lack of respect, discrimination, and yes-- I was even dropped on the list of who-gets-what based on which Males needed what drop. It's sad, and yet it does still happen.

After a while I quit and went to play another MMO, and even after that I came back to Alexander under a different name and this time picked a Hume Male. Now? There's none of what I got before as a Female.

Wholeheartedly agree with Droewyn's and Eternaltriumph's thoughts. The entire time I've played this game I've seen women degraded, OR such as I'm seeing more and more recently, the women themselves using the "Boys are Toys" instead. Female players flirting beyond the point of even X-rated with everyone in i.e. the Linkshell in order to be better liked and/or for items and gil.

The truth is sad but it's out there, and anyone with enough brains knows why things like these are still happening.

Isn't it about time we do something about it?

Wow, she must have met me because I always ask how big a gamer gurl's breasts are!

• rolls eyes*

Generalizations go both ways. In all of my linkshells, girls were treated no different than the guys.

even game companies are sexist just look at this http://featu...om/lunentia/

Nobody is saying that all guy players are like this, or even all linkshells. But attitudes like "I would never behave this way and none of the people I associate would either, so therefore I don't think it actually happens" is extremely disrespectful because it trivializes the experience of female games who have had to deal with this behavior. It implies that we're either lying, or somehow "misunderstood" or "took out of context" interactions like "/em f*cks <t> all night long." I know that's not what you guys are going for. @Tenshii - Yeah, girl gamers who go "OMG I has boobies, buy me a hauby!" need to be stomped on at least as hard as the jerk guys. That sort of behavior pisses me off to no end. We had one of those special snowflakes in our social shell for a while, but given that our shell happens to be about 60/40 female-to-male, she didn't last very long.

As a side note, can we use the voting feature properly, it seems everyone here has a negative score >_> Methinks someone does not like the topic.

All I have to say is, I have been playing FFXI for around 4 yrs. I have a female chara and yes I am a female behind the keyboard. I have had countless /says, /tells and /em with other players "doing" things to me and such. It happens. It happens alot. I witness /em all the time of others making comments to other female chara. I have had to call a GM and /blist a few people because of it. It's annoying and frustrating to have to deal with these kinds of people. But thankfully, I have a linkshell that doesnt do that. And I am only one of two females in it. Bottome line, there are alot of sick a**hats out there who get off on it. I've learned to tell them off, nicely, and go on with my game ^^

When I started playing FFXI, my friend told me not to get a mithra/female hume, because they get harassed alot by perverts in general(I don't say only guys or only girls because we all have the ability to be pervs). I'm happy she did, a tarutaru like me only worry about getting eaten by galkas or being teased for my height.

I totally agree with the lack of respect thing for female players.

Granted, I play a female character, and am male.

That being said, complaining about people using the term "rape" to describe beating something is stupid.

Part of the reason some women don't get respect is that they complain about things like that. Yes, actual rape is a horrible thing. However, it's not like people say "Let's go rape that NM the way that guy raped your sister."

How many times have you heard the phrase "that's retarded" and taken offense? What about "that was gay!" Why does this offend you? They're words, nothing more. Learn to ignore them, because people you've never met probably don't care about your feelings, especially with the anonymity of the internet,

Why are you telling people you don't know what your gender is anyways? If some creep came up to you on the street and asked you how old you were, would you tell him? Of course not. It's the same thing. If you don't want people to harass or stalk you because you're female, don't tell them you're female, tell them it's none of their business what your gender is, because it really isn't.

People use terms like "retarded" and "rape" in ways they aren't meant for because it's a way of getting a point across, a way of accentuating what you are saying. Saying "Let's go rape that NM" is much easier than saying "Let's go viciously beat that NM, but not sexually assault it in any way".

My point is, political correctness is stupid, and not conducive to conversation or language in any way. It's simply a way to avoid offending someone who doesn't know how to take a joke.

Oh, by the way: I've never been stalked, propositioned, or harassed for playing a female character (other than by my RL friends, but that's because they think it's kind of *gay*) I also have two RL friends, both of whom play female characters, and rarely do they get harassed, so I guess it depends on how you act.

in all the time ive played this game, about 4 years. i have not seen a female character get any less than a male character. unless they didint deserve it. (like they dont have enuough points. or it was someone elses run) now i cant say the harrasment issue never happend because it did to someone within my LS. and they where told off. and if they had givin the guys name out..jest about everyone in the LS would have done the same.

i'm with cenebi on this it all depends on how you act. if your walking around saying things like this people are going to either get annoyed by the comments you make on how your getting a "Lack" of respect. i had a that once in a while. im sure everyone has. when you first join a HNMls/ or sky. you wont get much respect. because you jest joined..you gain it by doing well within the events. i think that, i know because i have a female friend like this, that they think that they are not getting the respect they need because they are female, not seeing a rational side to the situation.

my LS doesent have that many females but i can say without a doubt. that each and everyone of them have respect because they know what their doing. and we know who they are.

it all depends on what job you are, what gear you have, and how good you are. if you know you are good. who cares what the other peoeple say...show them you're better. thats what i did anyway.

I myself TOTALLY UNDERSTAND HER PAIN!

I have played this game since it started and I have never treated anyone different based on their gender, only based off the skill they have as a player. I see it all the time girls being cut down or treated differently because they are female. Personaly I don't care if you are male or female as long as you know your job and how to play everything is all good with me. Just my 2 cents. ^_^

Makes me glad that I assume that FF11 isn't a "virtual singles bar", unlike some people. Yes, I play a Mithra, yes I'm a guy, and yes, my character got stalked by a twit who assumed that I was (1) a chick, (2)a _hot_ chick, (3)available, and (4)desperate enough to meet with him in RL for a date (read: a quick f**k). Since I really don't know whether any player I meet is a man or a woman, I have a simple policy: first, keep it clean (i.e. PG-13 or less), and second, don't assume that just because the character is female, the player is looking for sex. What I _do_ assume is that whoever's on the other side of the keyboard controlling the character I'm interacting with is here to play FF11, not looking to get laid, and treat them with the same courtesy that I would with that person if we met in RL--regardless of whether the person is male, female, or an AI in some computer lab somewhere! ^_^ (Call me stupid, but I figure that if I want to "score", I should answer a personal ad somewhere rather than harass a female character.) IMHO, even if the player is a woman, that does NOT mean that she's single. Or hetero, for that matter. And even if she is straight and single, that doesn't necessarily mean that she's "cruising"--I'd bet anyone 100 gil (if I had it to spare) that she's here to play and have fun just like I am. And one other thing--personally, I think the term "Manthra" is sexist, and even a little derogatory. So what if a majority of Mithra are played by men (or reasonable facsimiles thereof)? Could it possibly mean simply that they're a fun race to play? (Okay, I admit I have a nekomimi fetish O_O, but still...)

People need to get off this political correctness. Dont be so fawking sensitive.

Its not about being politically correct, its about being respectful. I've played this game since it first came out state side on PC. I've had so many experiences with this game, from your average 13 year old cursing you out to a full on perv trying to get your contact info to send you pics of his "piece". This game is as diverse as in real life, the only difference is that people have dropped down their guard and reservations and just full on bombard you with their personalities. I can assure you that the whinny 13 year old thats always calling you a dumb@#$@#" for messing up a voke in a party has to think twice before opening his mouth in his school. This "virtual world" allows a great deal of many people to shed their reserved nature and become who they really wish to. That is the purpose of role playing: become someone else. But within all of this shedding of restraints and reserved nature people forget to bring their manners with them most of the times.

I've been stalked ( still am btw which im peeved the GMs do nothing about this player) insulted, treated unfairly because of my gender and lets not get into sexual preference. I seriously doubt you want to be taught how to be a "real woman" by a polygonal character on screen, yet i've had to deal with such inept attitudes at times during my long career on this game.

So to the people who are scoffing this topic, griping the OP ed to get a life, "virtual respect" = lol sort of attitude... You either actively do the things that the Op Ed states or you are a huge asshat online that has all the nice shiny toys and could care less that you are actually playing with other real people.

Respect is respect whether that be in person face to face or over a digital way (internet) there are no buts, ors and ifs about this. To stoop down to talk to a player ( be that male or female) is just completely appalling.

Okay. I have determined over the last few years that there are not many people in FF who actually are these harassing a**holes. For the most part its just a few people that give everyone else a bad name, and a persons personal experience can vary greatly just by chance. For example, there was someone who was eventually banned that would make new characters all the time and send nasty /tells to girl-named characters. His actions alone caused someone to feel harassed, and therefore makes that person more sensitive to others harassment as well. Also, it is to be noted that in any community, there are the delinquents, socially-challenged, and the mischief-makers. Sometimes, and I've come across this a lot, its not necessarily that a guy is trying to harass, its just that they might not have had the previous social experience to understand that they are indeed being offensive in their language or actions. They might think that you will find it funny, or they feel social pressure to more accepted by the other "dudes". Yes, just like in real life. I have found that telling said person, privately, that their words are hurtful and that they should rethink saying things like that, because ultimately it does no good for anyone, will usully make someone understand.Sometimes that can solve the problem. And then sometimes they are just a dumbf*** and need to be put in their place. You know a great place for those people? GM jail.

Oops totally hit enter on accident.

Anyhow long story short is, yes it does happen, and yes it does suck, and ive had the problem and documented it. Matter of fact i have a great SS (that wont post here for whatever reason) on my FFXispace page. Ill even post a link here so you can see some of the fun stuff us girls get sometimes.

www.myffxi.com/Calamityjane

You guys have hit everything about this topic that there is to hit. And for the record, I NEVAR tell anyone (other than my ls) that I am a female irl. My husband plays FFXI with me aswell. And on many occasions, just because I am wearing a short piece of leg gear, I get /tells that are nasty NC-17 rated. 99% of the time, when you tell ppl nicely to not say that, they go off on a drunken rampage defaming everyone in your family because you wont cyber with them. I ALWAYS make sure that when I tell that said person to go eff themselves, I never use any words that can get a GM called on me. And considering about half the players from NA are about 13, they aren't smart enough to understand that you just insulted them and they can't do anything about it. Being a "smart" ass is fun ^^

Oh, it happens, and I've had it happen to me more than once in FFXI.

Recently I had one guy from my ls who, after finding out I was female plus nice and helpful, started to stalk me in-game, following me, my boyfriend, and my friends from spot to spot, despite my making it clear to him 1) have a boyfriend and 2) am NOT interested.

This creepy stalker also went around asking prying questions about me and my availability and if I really had a boyfriend to my friends and others who know me. Needless to say, I was pissed off and he was quickly removed from my friend list as well as blacklisted.

This creepy stalker is not the first and probably will not be the last I blacklist for making unwelcome advances, btw.

That said, I find the same is true for many guys who play the game. My boyfriend purposely plays a female Elvaan simply because he wanted to avoid having women make unwelcome and often lurid sexual advances towards him. Not to say that stops the women from trying and often rudely too.

imo, there should be no reason why a woman or a girl, or even a guy for that matter, who enjoys playing an MMORPG should ever have to put up with sexual harassment from the opposite sex, ever. Unfortunately tho, it happens and SE isn't too helpful with resolving the problems usually. In fact, they can be extremely insensitive, I know from past experience when trying to report issues.

Thank goodness I've gotten very good and practiced at eliminating said problems from my in-game life. U treat me bad, u don't get so much as a wave from my character. U are gone, disappeared as far as I'm concerned.

Hey, you mean a game that presents 90% of its female characters as silly, vaguely incompetent, or excessively maternal has created an environment in which women are objectified? You don't say!

I think thats just sexist to say that about girls. I myself have never disrespected any females in my time on FFXI

lolz! this is just wrong. i cant even believe this was said about girls.

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